How should I deal with friend having bad behavior?


Alqaem youth

Question: What qualities do you think a good Muslim youth should have to be successful?

 

The answer: I think he or she should possess the following qualities:

 

1. Sincerely believing in Allah and completely relying on Him. 

2. Being able to control and lead himself. 

3. Always looking for progress and success within what Allah has permitted. 

4. Driving fear away from inside him. 

5. Being magnanimous and patient. 

6. Not belittling himself. 

7. Observing the Islamic principles and dealing with people accordingly. 

8. Making use of every blessing Allah has given to him 

9. Caring for his health and the right of his body over him 

10. Not being excessive in eating and drinking 

11. Not leaving himself without money that he often needs 

12. Serving other people as much as possible 

13. Not being confused when someone disagrees with him concerning his true belief, for people, throughout history, are different 

14. Liking to undertake and carry out responsibilities 

15. Being frank and honest and not beating around the bush 

16. Not delaying in doing good 

17. Reading useful books that will benefit him 

18. Making friends with good people 

19. Not thinking of gaining the content of every one around him, because this requires hypocrisy 

20. Avoiding disputes and idle talks 

21. Not mocking others 

22. Mentioning the good deeds and fine qualities of others 

23. Criticizing himself and watching his deeds 

24. Persuading himself that he is able to do what is required 

25. Thanking Allah for every blessing 

26. Not being like a tool in the hands of others 

27. Knowing his position in life well  

28. Showing his opinion with evidence when needed 

29. Looking at his listeners when talking with them 

30. Being more a listener than a speaker 

31. Participating in the meetings of joy considering their etiquette and the meetings of consolation considering their etiquette 

32. Offering presents to those who have given him presents on occasions 

33. Believing that he is important in life and has a value in the existence 

34. Not involving himself in bad doings, and when this happens, he has to repent, pray to Allah to forgive him, and try to restore his morale 

35. Not living idly and not wasting his time 

36. Looking forward to the future and trying to achieve it sincerely 

37. Arming himself with good deeds to receive the death that he shall meet inevitably 

38. Not spending his life unmarried 

39. Reciting the Qur’an and supplications with understanding and reflection 

40. Sparing something of his moneys for emergencies 

41. Not being satisfied with a certain limit of success and stop going forward 

42. Pardoning those who do wrong to him  

43. Strengthening his relations with his kin and being dutiful to his family 

44. Ordering his life, relations and all his affairs

 

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Question: How can I make use of my age and youth? When I see the others (old people) who did nothing worthwhile in life and wasted, during their youth, their times in nonsensical and absurd things that did not provide them with a good future, I become more determined and tell myself “I do not want to be like them”. But I do not know what to do or how I should begin and what the causes of failure are. Please show me the way!

 

The answer: There are three main factors that waste one’s time, age, and good opportunities, and consequently they throw man into the afterlife empty-handed save with regret.

 

The first factor is the individual himself through:

 

1. living nervously

 

2. being busy with trivial and unnecessary things

 

3. living irregularly without organizing his times and works

 

4. procrastination and laziness

 

5. curiosity and interfering in others’ affairs

 

6. having poor information about the necessary issues of life

 

7. loneliness and little association with the society

 

8. hesitation and not being determined in taking decisions

 

9. not planning for the future

 

The second factor is the individual and the others around him through:

 

1. long idle meetings

 

2. guests that come with no appointment

 

3. speaking on the telephone for a long time on trivial and unimportant matters

 

4. unreasonable requests of others

 

5. associating with aimless persons

 

6. amusement programs, especially sitting for hours to watch TV serials and cinema movies

 

The third factor is accidents, like:

 

1. illness

 

2. traffic accidents

 

3. losing things such as money, books, and other things

 

Dear brother, you should be aware of these things that deprive you of your time and ease, and you should not engage in these behaviors. On the other hand, you should read the life histories of the great and successful people. You will learn how to make use of your time, how to build your life and future, and then you will make your family and other people proud of you. The thing more important than all that is that you will please Allah and He will please you when you will meet Him lonely and then He will grant you the eternal bliss. This is the right way and all else is loss and torment.

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Question: I am a teenager from a religious family. I have a friend who is corrupt, but I am very fond of him. I do not know what to do!

 

The answer: Use your love towards him as a means of advising him and saving him by taking him towards guidance! It has been narrated in a Prophetic tradition that guiding one person is better than the worldly life and all it contains.

 

Do not forget that love is good when it reaps goodness and it is a means of deviation when it transfers bad morals from your friend to you! A rational person is one who thinks of the outcome of things and then considers the actual situation – what is important and what is more important.

 

Try to be more reasonable than sentimental because if emotion overpowers you in the important situations, it will destroy you and then convey you to Hell! Of course, this is not what you want nor can bear.

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